Why I’m shedding the ‘shoulds’ to be my full creative self: I think that’s where the magic happens

I had a lightbulb moment a few weeks ago, but it's taken me this long to feel brave enough to share it with you. But I think we can all benefit from being a bit kinder to ourselves.

This particular epiphany was fuelled by three things.

The first was a social media post about the nervous system. Feeling like "we've tried everything" and "we still don't know what's beneath it all" is a curious and constant quandary that so many of us face. Particularly if, like me, you're at the midlife stage that asks 'What the hell is wrong with me' a gazillion times a day. Only this time, a small voice replied, "Absolutely nothing – you are who you are."

The second was a book. Browsing in the library, I happened upon a book by the wonderful Kim Joy – you might remember her extraordinary flavour combos from The Great British Bake Off. The book is called Ordinary Joy and it is about finding your own kind of joy in the everyday. (I'd only read the intro at that time, but I've since consumed it cover to cover.) It inspired me to do more of the things I know bring me joy.

And the third was a new client meeting, back at my desk, with two amazing women embarking on a project that is profoundly important. Their work will change lives. It's impossible not to feel inspired when faced with such incredible purpose.

Collectively, these things stopped and jump-started my brain with a whole new rhythm and a full-body, wide-eyed, 'woah' moment. 

Amidst the noise of life (family, work, the gazillionty things on my mind – and I'm not unique, we're all facing endless shizzle), I realised I have tried so many different ways to move forwards. To shed the shoulds. To shake my tailfeather and drop the limiting beliefs that are holding me back. Except...

Except the one thing I know will make the biggest difference. And it's the one thing I've never felt brave enough to do.

I've never been totally, utterly, unapologetically myself. 

I keep thinking I am, I keep saying it. But I'm not. Not really.

I reckon I've been playing somewhere between 50 and 80% me for most of my life. And maybe, just maybe, the missing percentage is where the magic happens. 

We don't need anyone's permission but our own to do it, yet for some unknown reason, we still hold back.

Because when we consider who we are, we immediately think of who we're not. That's just being human, noticing our inadequacies before our accomplishments. I'm not young (although I'm younger right now than I'll ever be again). I'm not thin, or super-smart. I could list a hundred things I'm not. 

But one thing I'm working on not being is self-deprecating. 

Which brings me to what I am. 

I am creative. And crucially, I know that creativity brings me joy. 

My internal gremlins want to jump in here with '...but you can't draw.' So I'm choosing to flip that. I can learn to draw better. Or even, so what if I'm not good at it? That doesn't mean I can't enjoy it. 

Because the one thing I truly, absolutely love about creativity is this.

The doing is more important than the outcome. 

It doesn't matter if it's a bit crap. 

It doesn't matter if other people don't like it. 

It doesn't even matter if it's not finished. 

What matters is that you give your brain, your nervous system, and yourself the chance to make something. 

It's the most human thing we can do (and it's far more rewarding than buying something).

So that's what I'm going to do. 

I'm making time for creativity. 

Playing in the gaps and cracks of a busy life. Not making more stuff. Just making more often. 

And using creativity in business to support other creative people who are their business too.

I think that's where the magic lives. 

If this resonates, and if you're also looking for more joy and less judgement, drop me a message. Let's chat about being ourselves, being creative, and what that actually means.

Or, you can join us at The Createhood. We meet locally to be creative together, and very soon, we'll be making something together online too. But I think it's also important to celebrate just being. Off-screen, in person, together. I’ll also continue using creativity in business to support other creative people who are their business too.

Different routes, one belief.

It's kind. It's welcoming. And it's here for you, when you need it.

You're very welcome.